Healthy Boundaries - How They Help and Harm You

As we move forward in our day to day lives and become intertwined with home, friends, family and work, have you given much thought to what healthy boundaries are?

“Boundaries are a life enhancing system of “Yes” and “No’s,” as outlined in the booklet, Building Better Boundaries, created by The Self Help Alliance. It is stated that boundaries are the stop signs we create and install in order to protect ourselves. With the boundaries, it is clearly laid out that you own and are in charge of your own life and that you are capable of making good choices for yourself.

The Self Help Alliance also states that, “Boundaries are a limit you set between yourself and people due to thoughts, activities and things that aren’t in your best interest.”

What are some of the helpful aspects of boundaries?

Boundaries help us to:

  • Define your identity
  • Self-protection
  • Bringing order to your life
  • Helps in self-promotion
  • Self-protection from...
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The 3 Things I Have Learnt From The Big C!

Today, June 7th 2020 is Cancer Survivor’s Day. Strangely it is also a year to the day that I found the lump in my left breast whilst working abroad and so the journey began. No one wants to be told they have the big “C.” It’s scary. July 9th 2020 I heard those words. For me, my diagnosis came in the form of breast cancer, in the middle of bringing up my children and enjoying life: it was an unwelcome guest whose appearance disrupted everything.

Luckily, I found it early, went through rounds of treatment and am fortunate to have a very positive outlook. But the experience has changed me in ways I could never have imagined and I have learned a lot on my journey. Lessons I want to share with you.

I want to offer hope. Hope which will come in the form of re-establishing my 15 year old coaching business to focus totally on resilience coaching

We all have a different relationship with cancer, some of us have lost people close to us and some of us have had no...

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Being You? It’s Easier Said Than Done!

In a world where we can be anything, the best thing to be is ourselves. It seems simple; after all, being us is suppose to come naturally. But this isn’t typically the case. In fact, obtaining authenticity isn’t always easy – there are many things that get in our way.

As play therapists, we must be aware of this as authenticity is extraordinarily important – it helps your sense of self and acts as the foundation of the relationship between therapist and child. And the reason for this is because, when it comes to inauthenticity, kids are onto it.

They know when you’re pretending, when you’re telling them what they want to hear, and when you’re being less than trustworthy. Children can feel incongruence. They sense it.  Their “incongruence” radars go off telling them that something doesn’t quite add up and sometimes the thing that doesn’t quite add up is the therapist.

Yet, despite knowing that it’s...

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In the Eye of the Tornado: Finding the Blessing in Chaos

“When I sink into the tornado and allow myself to just spin and swirl, somehow I find the eye and soon the sun comes out.”

Have you ever felt like life was spinning so fast that you were caught up in a tornado? I have had many periods in my life where I felt caught up in a giant whirlwind, sometimes losing a sense of where I was going and feeling that only destruction was part of my path. I have felt so lost, confused and overwhelmed that I tried to grab onto something to help me feel the ground under my feet, only to find that there was nothing there, except myself. For someone who finds herself battling the illusion that having control is the best way to go, these periods have been very disorienting. Who am I? Where am I going? What am I destroying? What am I creating? What is meaningful? What can I depend on? These are the types of questions that tend to emerge in my psyche during these chaotic times.

I forget to let go. I forget that a tornado has two sides. ...

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A Cautionary Tale

One of my mother’s great achievements during my childhood, apart from her penchant for singing obscure music hall songs, was being able to recite from memory Hilaire Belloc’s poem ‘Matilda, who told lies and got burnt to death’.  She would repeat this feat on an almost weekly basis, which accounts for my strong moral core, and my nervous tic. 

Belloc never wrote any poems set in an organisation – about time something was done about that…

Cautionary Tales For Managers (with apologies to Hilaire Belloc)

No. 1: Samantha, who refused to delegate and was ‘disappeared’


Samantha Tamsin Thornton-Briar
Was a corporate high-flier.
Hand-picked from University
Her progress through the hierarchy
Was rather quick, I have to say.
Succession planning paved the way
For her to be divisional head
(“And well deserved” - so HR said).


Now something that is clear to all
(At least to those people who scrawl
Their own notes in the...

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I'm A Fraud, And I'm Owning Up To It!

“I can’t believe they actually think I can do this job!” 

I asked my former boss that very question.  He was the CEO of large global multinational.  He looked at me surprised.   He smiled and said yes!  I couldn’t believe it! I thought it was just me that had silly random thoughts.

It’s called Imposter syndrome and sometimes no matter how much you have studied, trained and achieved success it rears its ugly head.

The syndrome makes you feel like you are a fraud even when you’re not.  You often spend your time worrying you will be found out and considered a fraud.

Everyone suffers from it at one time or another. Actors, Writers, Sports Figures and probably some doctors, although I like to think that it never crosses the minds of the world’s best Neurosurgeons!

This week I was quite surprised to learn that I’ve been nominated for the RBC Canadian Women Entrepreneur Of The Year Award.

My first...

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